I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. Now if I do what I do not want, I agree that the law is good. But in fact it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells within me. For I know that the good does not dwell within me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do the good lies close at hand, but not the ability. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it but sin that dwells within me. – Romans 7:15-20 (NRSVUE)
I don’t know about you, but 2026 got off to a sluggish start for me. Last week was the first full week of the year, and it was challenging to get going again after the holiday break. Early mornings in the dark getting Cade out the door to school felt so much earlier than they did a few weeks before. Quite a few people I know of began the year with the flu or colds, making it harder to get going. It’s been mostly cold or rainy, so that curling up inside feels tempting. It has not been a particularly efficient start to the year.
Yet efficiency is over-valued in our world today. Efficiency is not a core Christian virtue. It does not make us happier to be more efficient. We were not made to be highly productive all of the time. Yes, there is a value to getting things done. Having some times of being effective and productive is a good thing. We should not, however, be continually “on” and effective.
In recent years there has been a surge of interest in Stoic philosophy, an ancient Greek and Roman movement. Stoic thought emphasizes rational discourse, emotional self-control, and self-discipline practices to eliminate anxiety, insecurity, and strong emotions. Through self-control, it says, we can be consistent and efficient and thereby have a content and prosperous life. The Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius is particularly famous as a Stoic thinker. Yet Stoic philosophy declined as Christianity became the official religion of the Roman empire. There’s a reason for this. The great mistake of Stoic philosophy is its thinking that we can always be at our best. That’s simply not true. We have ups and downs. Some days we are better than others, including physically, emotionally, in our thinking, and in our spiritual state. Emotions, meanwhile, are important parts of who we are, as well as signs of what is going on within and around us that should not be pent up and ignored. We are inconsistent and creative; innovative rather than robotic; passionate with ups and downs. We are human. Above all, we are sinners who do not do what we wish to do. Christian thought recognizes this and speaks to the reality that we are not able to be our best every day.
God loves us when we are sluggish and ineffective, as well as when we are having our best days. God’s love is not based on what we accomplish. Our value is not based on what we accomplish. Our identity is not determined by what we do. We are God’s children because God claims us. God claims us because God loves us. God loves us regardless of what we do or fail to do. That does not mean that we do not try to do what we can, but we do that for the sake of others and not because we are trying to be perfect people. When we have an inefficient streak, that’s simply part of being human. Sometimes we need to flounder a bit before we find new energy and direction. Sometimes we get off to a slow start. That does not change who God is or how valuable we are to God.