A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it! – James 3:3-5 (The Message)
Last week, in the days leading up to Lent, Pope Leo urged people to abstain from speaking in ways that tear others down as a Lenten practice this year. Part of his message read: “Let us begin by disarming our language, avoiding harsh words and rash judgment, refraining from slander and speaking ill of those who are not present and cannot defend themselves.” While it is lamentable that this needs to be said at all, it is a welcome reminder that the words we choose to use matter. To speak in ways that show care for others and particularly those in need is a spiritual discipline. This discipline includes those with whom we disagree, even vehemently. Using the power of our words well is an important Christian practice, and so deserves to be part of a Lenten focus.
At the same time, using the power of our words also means speaking truthfully when the need arises. This may include naming sinful actions of others if those actions hurt other people. We need not call out sin simply to call out sin. In fact that would be a failure to care for the fragility of others. However, when people speak and act in ways that cause real harm to someone, we do have an ethical responsibility to speak up for those being harmed, especially those who lack the power to do so for themselves.
All of this sounds challenging. We have to refrain from speaking harshly and yet speak the truth in love. It is on one level challenging. On the other hand, part of our spiritual growth in coming to know Christ is learning the difference between a harsh word and a hard word. A harsh word is judgmental and designed to denigrate and lessen others; a hard word is pointing to ways that someone fails to lift others up and may in fact harm them. It may be hard to describe the difference, but the difference should be clear in the practice of speaking. One comes from a place of love and care – both for those in need and to call the person who speaks harmfully to be better out of love for them – while the other comes from a place of malice. The difference can be heard. Let our words come from a place of care at all times.