For your name’s sake, O LORD,
pardon my guilt, for it is great.
Who are they who fear the LORD?
He will teach them the way that they should choose. – Psalm 25:11-12 (NRSVUE)
This past week was course selection week, both for Cade’s high school classes for next year and for Dante’s college classes next semester. Dante had a Zoom meeting with his advisor to choose his first semester freshman year classes. It did not occur to me to join in on that meeting, but at the last moment he told us that we were expected to attend as well. In the meeting, then, the advisor asked us as parents for a couple of thoughts. After we answered, he said something to the effect of, “Good, that’s helpful. Now you are done. This is the cutting of the cord. If he wants you in these meetings in the future that is fine, but it is his choices from here.” Having already assumed that, the comments were not a problem, but it sounded like the advisor was used to parents having a hard time letting go and wanted to be clear that responsibility was being handed off from us. Transitions of this sort can be difficult, and so having those clear moments are helpful.
Meanwhile, this past week was also a handover of responsibility in our confirmation program at St. Matthew. We have three confirmands who have completed the classwork part of the program and are beginning the mentor program. This is a step in easing these young people into taking on responsibility for their own faith. The mentor, like the college advisor, helps for a short time in accompanying the youth in the shift to claiming for themselves the promises made for them in baptism to walk in faith and be a disciple of Jesus.
The ideal of taking responsibility for yourself sounds great, but in practice it is not so easy. Wouldn’t it be great to be able to set up your schedule as a disciple for each new semester? Every six months we could sit down with an advisor and say, “These are the things that God is requiring of me in the next six months. I need three credits of serving others, three credits of bible study, three credits of worship, and then I get two elective courses.” It would seem reassuring to have such a clear plan and to know what to emphasize. Perhaps this is something worth figuring out how to do. Certainly people like spiritual directors and pastors can help you with this, but perhaps we need a more organized system for coming into the church and working out spiritual goals and plans on a regular basis. Ultimately, though, while such things could be helpful the choices are ours to make of how to respond to God’s goodness.