Since, then, we have such a hope, we act with complete frankness, … Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And all of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another, for this comes from the Lord, the Spirit. – 2 Corinthians 3:12, 17-18 (NRSVUE)
This is the time of year when members of the congregational council respond to letters from confirmands. Our service of Affirmation of Baptism will be part of worship on Reformation Day, on Oct. 30 this year. Each year one of the final steps before being confirmed is to write a letter to council stating a desire to be confirmed, a key learning from the confirmation process, and a plan for how to continue to be involved in the congregation. Some of the letters are quite elegantly written, others stick quite close to sample provided.
Sometimes people wonder if there is much point to this exercise. For me, the act of writing it is the essential part of the practice. To be confirmed is to be recognized as being an adult within the church. It means that the young person has reached a level of spiritual maturity to be recognized as an adult member of the congregation. Part of being an adult is the ability to speak for yourself. Being able to communicate with others to let them know your concerns, situations, and perspectives in a constructive manner is part of maturity. Throughout the process of confirmation, every youth will have a time of scheduling conflict. For my part, I am happy to work with each youth through that provided they are able to be sufficiently engaged to tell me what the conflict is, why it is necessary for them to miss a church commitment for this other commitment, and to inquire whether there are ways to make up what they have missed. Particularly at the beginning it is often parents who do this, but my expectation is that as the youth progresses through the confirmation program they are more and more able to contact me themselves. It is a sign of growing maturity in connection to the church. The letters are a final step in that this responsibility for communication expands beyond me to the lay leadership of the congregation.
2 Corinthians 3:12 tells us that the church is to be a place of “frank speech.” The word used here to describe such speech is on the one hand a political term to talk about the free speech of a political conversation in Greek democracy, but it is also the language of friendship. That is, true friendship is a relationship where it is possible to speak openly and honestly with one another without jeopardizing that friendship. What Paul is getting at is that Christians who are fully mature spiritually are able, and indeed expected, to disagree about important issues. These disagreements, though, are to be communicated in a loving spirit of mutual commitment. This means speaking directly to issues (not about people!) and to the people with whom you disagree. Indeed, to speak a well-thought out complain directly to a person who has the ability to deal with that complaint is an act of relationship. It is moving towards that other person with a willingness to honestly and lovingly share a difference of opinion. Too often in church life we see all
differences of opinion as bad and to be avoided, but that ability to communicate to one another through difference is in fact one of the marks of true church community. Part of a life of faith together is that there will be different perspectives; this is to be welcomed and not feared so long as the disagreements are rooted in a love of God and a love of the community shaped by a willingness to truly listen to one another and move towards one another in our speaking.
By the same token, gossip is never “frank speech” or part of mature Christian life. It is indeed a sign of a need to grow in spiritual maturity. Gossip is denounced in the bible repeatedly, from the 8th Commandment to James 3:3. Gossip is complaining to make oneself feel better rather than to engage in up-building discussion. It also includes complaints to someone who has no ability to deal with that issue and no intention to help address the issue. Gossip tears down relationships because it is walking away from productive communication rather than moving towards it.
The value of the confirmation letters, then, is to help the youth practice productive communication. It is assisting them in moving towards spiritual maturity. It encourages them to take their own step towards the community by reaching out in words to adults of this community, learning to speak for themselves in ways that create relationship. It is a practice that we all need to be reminded of from time to time.